Anyone who has seen ‘Office Space’ remembers the scene where Aniston goes off on her boss at Chotchkie’s.   Flair!  It’s an empowering moment.  The kind of moment many of us wish we had the guts to create for ourselves.  There is nothing as empowering as taking the upper hand on a person or group that has been sitting on top of you for months or years. Honestly- this is not the best way to handle a decision to change jobs.

What causes a person to want to change jobs?  Could be many things..  Most of the time a person leaves his or her boss not the company or team. Ever see emails from people to their team when they leave their jobs?  Typically they say things like-  ”I loved working with you guys” or “please contact me if you need anything” or “I value the relationships I have built here”.  Seems as if many people like their team, just not their boss.  People do not tell a company or group of folks these type of positive well wishes if they do not mean them.  Maybe they do-  maybe just to be polite..  but I find that shallow.  I find that most people are not shallow and most people want to do the right thing.   Which is what this whole post is about.

FLAIR!

When it’s time to go-  what happens??  I believe that the onus has been put on employees to provide a heads up to their company.  BUT..  What onus does a company or leader have in regard to an employee who is on his way out?  This is very interesting to me.  I have been so passionate about hiring the right people and developing the talent within my teams, I have not taken the time to understand the obligation of a leader to his team when an employee finds he is ready to move on.

Companies and managers must take the time to understand why the employee is leaving the organization.  It is always the hope of any firm that their employees are not leaving due to internal issues within the company.  Many people I know feel it is OK for someone to leave because of personal reasons like family matters or illness- but a chance to take a promotion or move to a better comp package with a competitor is not OK.  Why the dichotomy?

The feeling that a company is owed something in regard to how their employees quit is wrong.  As a manager or leader, if you have  let your team get into a position where they need to look outside your organization to find opportunity, happiness or fair compensation, then you have failed.  The reason  managers do not feel a team member can happily move to another firm is out of shear frustration with their own inadequacies to keep their team intact.

I hear some of you- BUT!  ”There is more to a company than just the employees!!!” I understand a company has an obligation to many stake holders including employees, clients and shareholders.  These different groups should not over ride a core piece of humanity, which is to take care of one another.  Managers must remember that changing jobs is incredibly difficult on people and the decision to move on was is generally not made lightly.

I believe that managers and companies should remember a few simple rules when a person decides it is time to move on.

• Managers and leaders must take care of their people to the END
• 2 weeks notice is a two way street
• You never know when you may want someone back
• It’s a small world and people talk, post and blog
• Other employees see what you do

Leaders should remember that the road to division has more than one driver and that fairness and equality are critical to building lifelong relationships with employees.  Employers should be quick to recognize that a small bit of generosity during a disruptive time in a person’s life will go a VERY long way.  People will remember how they were treated and will convey that sentiment to people still working at the company, potential hires, the competitions and possible clients.

A recent Houston Chronicle Article discusses 2 weeks notice.  ”Most companies view it as an act of thoughtfulness and consideration by the employee, and they want to encourage that kind of behavior by keeping the worker on the payroll.

If they don’t, he said, it doesn’t take long for word to get around that the company will put its departing employees in a bind.”

With the power of social media, companies should remember that one person can reach thousands.  It is always better to do right by your people even when they are walking out the door-  you never know when you will walk in on them again or who they may be taking with them.

So there I was-  just putting the finishing touches on a new process masterpiece!  I had worked on it for weeks.  I had been given a directive to fix a problem with one of our processes.  (I could go into detail, but it does not matter as my story is really a conglomeration many different times when I have worked to develop a new product or process. )

I was debriefing my boss on the progress of the initiative.  She had no involvement in my planning up to this point despite the multiple emails I sent her detailing our progress.  I had asked for meetings about our status and she replied, “I trust you are getting it done.”  No Meeting….

It was time to begin execution of the process changes.  I began to walk her through the last steps.  We were 2 days out from executing my plan.  That is when I heard the ‘Seagull Call’.

In Ann Rowley’s book, Leadership Therapy: Inside the Mind of Microsoft, she discusses the Seagull Call.  Microsoft management referred to an event where Sr. management would come in at the last minute and swoop down over their project and crap all over it.  Much like a seagull at the beach.  Wow….  I love this analogy.

The call was loud and swift.  I had been pooped on.  My project was ripped apart at the last minute.  I managed to fight off most of the changes, but the damage was done.  I felt like a child and thought my work was lacking in some way.  My project was changed and did not have the impact I had intended it too.

This is a Great Idea.... For Me to POOP ON!

This was not the last time I would be pooped on.   It was not the only time I had been involved in a pooping, either.  I have been guilty of letting a project run too far without my guidance and then jumping in at the last minute to ‘fix’ it.  I have done this out of poor planning on my part and trusting a team member to read my mind.

As a leader, it is our job to provide guidance.  We should be setting goals and giving feedback to our team members regularly.  Our team will only grow if we allow them to execute all the way to the end.  When a project is changed, dumped or micro-managed at the last minute; there is a strong possibility it is the manager’s fault and not the employee’s fault.

When allowing an employee to develop a process, product or project, managers need to:

• Provide structured guidance and feedback along the way
• Set clear goals and desired outcomes
• Create boundaries from the jump
• Allow your employee to struggle-  difficulty is just as important as success
• Do NOT come by at the last minute to ‘fix’ the project

By setting your people up from the beginning for success, you eliminate the possibility of having to poop on their ideas at the last minute.

I was yelling.  I mean yelling.  I was 3 months into my job as a manager and I was on the phone with one of my guys and we were going at it.  I was the boss! Who was he to question me or to push back on my direction.  I had tried incentives.  I had tried to relate to him, but nothing was working.  It was time to use my power to force him to do what was needed.

He hung up on me.  He also did what I yelled at him to do, but he did it begrudgingly.  The effect on the account was half-ass and we both suffered from the lack luster effort.  I later apologized for treating him like a child.  He apologized for letting it get that far, but the truth was he had nothing to be sorry for.  I had failed in my leadership.

I have always referred to the use of power as a case of either ‘the carrot or the stick’.  Power…  That is right-  I used THAT word.  It is absolutely true that all managers have POWER.  We have to have power in order to do our jobs.  Some people may not like the word, but it is what it is.  Princeton online defines power as:  Possession of controlling influence.

I have recently learned that there are different types of power.  There is Hard Power and Soft Power.  Hard Power is power exerted through force.  You may have seen it displayed at the office in the following ways:

• Emails in all caps
• Actual yelling at grown men and women
• Proximity management (sit here so I can watch you)
• Write ups with no direction on improvement
• Incentives to do your job- bonuses without direction

Conversely there is such a thing as Soft Power.  Soft Power is used when a leader has buy-in.  It is a direct contradiction to Hard Power and is defined by asymmetricthreat.net as-  The ability to shape the preferences of others and get others to want the outcomes you want.  YESSIR!  See the difference?

The Carrot or the Stick?

What is ‘the carrot and the stick’ (CaS) some of you may ask?  It is a metaphor used by managers to describe how to motivate people.  The idea is that much like a donkey, people can be motivated by either being whipped with a stick or being tempted to move along with the aid of a carrot dangled in front of them. Many managers believe that the carrot is a Soft Power tool. FAIL

I have recently decided that the carrot is as much a tool of Hard Power as the stick is.   Managers can tempt their teams with a carrot, but it is only generating a preconditioned response.  There is no buy-in from the employee.  The carrot becomes a whipping tool used just like a stick.  Most diplomacy defines Hard Power as having control financially over a country or region (sanctions for example).

The CaS metaphor further breaks down as it equates employees to stubborn mules (or Donkeys- I know there is a difference).  There is no way people and donkeys are even in the same boat, even though I believe Donkeys are AWESOME and way better than most animals-  like say…. otters!

I recommend that all managers and leaders work to gain buy-in from their staff on the direction and ideas of the team.  When direction is a group effort and the team works together to achieve goals, then Hard Power is not necessary.  Here are 5 lessons on how to improve on your ability to use Soft Power:

• Write down what you believe and share it with your team. I call this a Leadership Manifesto. It is a tried and true list of 5 – 10 core beliefs you have as a person.  Once your team knows what you believe, they can communicate with you more effectively.
• Never push back a one-on-one meetings for any reason. GUILTY!  I do this way more than I should.  This shows disrespect for your team members and does not generate buy in on team ideas.
• Ask Questions. It is critical to get ideas and input from everyone and asking questions is the only way to do it. Ask WHY and then when you have an answer,  ask WHY again.
• Say good morning to everyone and good night to anyone left. This may not seem like a big deal, but I say hello to most everyone on my team each morning.  It is sometimes the only 3 minute pocket I have with them when the world is not blowing up in our face.  I have the time to invest in what they say.
• Tell your team when you have to fight for them.  I will let my team know when I have to scrap for them.  I never do so in a way that makes management seem off-putting to their issues.  I simply let them know that it is my job to take bullets for them.  That is part of why I get paid.

Simply understanding what power is and how it can be used is critical.  By implementing some changes in how you work with your team, you could instantly change the team dynamics.  Try it and let me know how this has worked for you.

Do you believe that there is a place for Hard Power in the work place?  Have you seen areas where the carrot is just an orange, edible stick?

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